Dear Santa

I really really really want this necklace for Christmas.  Since it is still November and National Adoption Awareness Month,  I thought this fit really well with our journey in adoption. As I was looking through The R House Couture I saw this necklace and knew it was perfect. 

I feel that without hope I would not be where I am today.   To be in the process of adoption you have to have hope that things will work out the way they are meant to.  

Courage is what I want to have! I love the definition of courage ( Courage-  bravery, boldness, fearlessness, mettle, fortitude, or intrepidity is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation).

 I love this and I have the perfect place to hang it in our house.  It will be a great reminder to mus of why we are going through what we are going through.

 I gave my Santa list to Jacob so we will see what happens.  I am excited for Christmas and all of the family traditions we have started. 

Adoption Defined

adopt

[uh-dopt]

a·dopt

verb (used with object)

1. to choose or take as one's own; make one's own by selection or assent: to adopt a nickname.

2. to take and rear (the child of other parents) as one's own child, specifically by a formal legal act.

3. to take or receive into any kind of new relationship: to adopt a person as a protégé.

4.to select as a basic or required textbook or series of textbooks in a course.

5.to vote to accept: The House adopted the report.

As I was looking through some blogs today which I have been doing a lot during National adoption Month I came along this post and loved it. It was very interesting to me to see the dictionary definition of adoption. To me adoption cannot really be defined. It means so many different things to so many different people.

As I think about adoption I always get such a great feeling. I know that it may be the only way that I can be a mother on this earth. It means bringing a child to a loving home who has been praying for and thinking about them for almost 6 long years. It means going to Black Friday excited to pick out toys and presents to put under our tree for "our child", it is an answer to my prayers.

I will never forget the day I knew that our family would grow through the miracle of adoption. I love it and am excited to get moving in the process.

How would you define it?

Day 5

This is such an amazing quote. My life has not turned out the way I though and I have had a hard time accepting that. I have been angry, sad, and very very mad. I however have had a change of heart and know that I just have a new path in life. Adoption is that path and I am happy, joyful and excited for that. Oh how life and your outlook on it can change.

National Adoption Awareness Month!!!!!!

Day 4- My path to adoption

Note: I have committed to try and post throughout the month about adoption. As Lindsey from the R house would say "The challenge is NOT to write about adoption every single day (although you can!), the challenge is to make an extra effort to write about adoption this month". So I am going to do just that and post when I can. So here goes.......

I love Adoption!

I feel that the path that brought me to to adoption is very important.

After trying to have children for over 5 years I was told, "You are INFERTILE and will never be able to have children of your own".

It hurt

I cried

I worried

I wondered

I can remember as a young girl dreaming of being a mother someday. I am kind of a hypochondriac and I always worried I would die before I was a mother. To me there could be nothing worse. I would pray that as long as I could have a baby that I would die whenever I was meant to. I know that is morbid but I was young.

I now wonder if the hole in my heart will ever be filled

I wonder if my husband will ever be a father

I wonder if the baby clothes we have will ever be used

I wonder if one day I will have a child to bring out of sacrament when they are upset

I wonder a lot of things

I know the path of adoption is not going to be easy. I will still cry. I will still worry. I will still wonder. However, I will not do it alone. I have the strength I get from my Father in Heaven, the strength I get from my loving husband, the strength I get from my family and friends. It helps to know I am not alone.

I am never going to let those doctor's words get me down again. Just because I am INFERTILE does not mean that my dreams will not come true.

Infertility does not mean I can't be happy.
Infertility does not mean I won't be able to love.
Infertility does not mean my life will be full of heartache.
Infertility does not mean I am incapable of anything.
Infertility does not mean I am worthless.
Infertility does not mean I am less than anybody else.
Infertility does not mean I can not a mother.

Why do people ask stupid questions?

I know this shouldn't be a complaining blog. However, there are just some questions that are better left un-asked. Since being here in Idaho I have had many people make comments about how we have been married three years and don't have any children yet. My very first week in church one of the sister had the audacity to tell me, "she couldn't believe that we had been married three years and didn't have any children. Then she went on to ask me if I knew that the prophets tell us we should have children". I am about ready to switch to a family ward instead of a married student ward, because you don't really fit in with the newlyweds and we don't fit in with the longer married couples because they all have children. It just gets really frustrating sometimes. I am also not trying to get a pity party, I think sometimes it just helps to voice your feelings. Then today I saw a guy that grew up in the same home ward as me. He asked how long we had been married. I showed him a pictures of Alia (Denise's daughter), because he was closer in age to Denise. He asked if we had any children yet? of course I said no, and then he said, "isn't that what the next step is after marriage". Anyway, he probably didn't say it to be mean, but maybe I should just wear a sign on me that says, WE HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR THREE YEARS! I know for a fact that Jacob and I will have children someday. I know we will. It has taken me a lot of time and tears to figure that out. It just really puts a damper on your day. So please the next time you want to ask someone when they are going to start having children, don't do it because you never know what is going on in their life and their relationship.

Stupid people!!!!!!

I am tired of life and stupid people who say stupid stuff. Instead of talking they should just stick their foot in their mouth.