Day 4- My path to adoption
Note: I have committed to try and post throughout the month about adoption. As Lindsey from the R house would say "The challenge is NOT to write about adoption every single day (although you can!), the challenge is to make an extra effort to write about adoption this month". So I am going to do just that and post when I can. So here goes.......
I love Adoption!
I feel that the path that brought me to to adoption is very important.
After trying to have children for over 5 years I was told, "You are INFERTILE and will never be able to have children of your own".
It hurt
I cried
I worried
I wondered
I can remember as a young girl dreaming of being a mother someday. I am kind of a hypochondriac and I always worried I would die before I was a mother. To me there could be nothing worse. I would pray that as long as I could have a baby that I would die whenever I was meant to. I know that is morbid but I was young.
I now wonder if the hole in my heart will ever be filled
I wonder if my husband will ever be a father
I wonder if the baby clothes we have will ever be used
I wonder if one day I will have a child to bring out of sacrament when they are upset
I wonder a lot of things
I know the path of adoption is not going to be easy. I will still cry. I will still worry. I will still wonder. However, I will not do it alone. I have the strength I get from my Father in Heaven, the strength I get from my loving husband, the strength I get from my family and friends. It helps to know I am not alone.
I am never going to let those doctor's words get me down again. Just because I am INFERTILE does not mean that my dreams will not come true.
Infertility does not mean I can't be happy.
Infertility does not mean I won't be able to love.
Infertility does not mean my life will be full of heartache.
Infertility does not mean I am incapable of anything.
Infertility does not mean I am worthless.
Infertility does not mean I am less than anybody else.
Infertility does not mean I can not a mother.
2 comments:
Amazing post! Thank you for sharing... you aren't alone. We've been down the infertility path (well, I guess you don't leave that one) and the adoption one as well. Don't give up hope ~ adoption is a miracle and blessing.
Such a great post! Thanks for sharing. You are an amazing woman- one of my favorites! I wish you the very best on this adoption path. You are already an amazing mother figure to your students but I really hope and pray for you that you get to have your own child someday! Any child would be so lucky to have you as a parent!
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